Life Haps

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Pardon the er, Ratchetivity.

Because. Life. Happens.

And for certainly, I would know.

I’d rather watch ant documentaries and chipmunk videos any day.

Waffle cone sundae on the side.

[insert some super awesome gif right here]

Currently in the process of….cleaning up my life πŸ™‚

Like the old days of cleaning our rooms

Just doing some mind cleaning.

so don’t mind me πŸ˜‰

 

 

 

 

 

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beauty, Help Section

Love in All the Little Things

Ever step on a crunchy leaf on the sidewalk just for the melodious sound of the crunch? Ever tried blowing kisses to the moon? Do you walk down the street brandishing a delicately picked flower like it was a magic wand? Because I do. All the time.

I don’t think. I just do. I walk and hum these days. Just a little tune, nothing too fancy and def not your Top 40. I sing songs of love to the universe so my vibration can be felt, sensed.

Life is a complete and profound testament to love ya know. Just look. Everything is a love song. What on this earth is not fueled by love? If we look deep enough, it is all love really. Love is the universal force that pulls matter together. It’s that great energy that creates something out of nothing. It’s the place where we come from and the place we will go when we leave. It’s in us and lives through us. Love is love is love is love. All the types of love. All the ways of love.

You are here because of love. I am here because of love. No matter how you slice it. Everything has a relationship with love. Sadly sometimes things come about inversely because of love or the lack thereof. If there is a restlessness or a problem area in your life, I dare you to sprinkle a little love on it. Love is the balm of all balms. And when we learn to love with God’s love, when we learn the language of universal love for all beings, then we will know the true happiness that is to be found. As if it were ever lost is what you will say. Because when you seek and find love you will see that love was always here winking and peeping at you in the flowers, from the sky, from friendly hugs, in hands that touch, eyes that behold, and hearts that feel.

Can you feel the love?

Entertainment

Peanut Butter by the Spoonfuls

I swear I could eat like 3 jars a week. This increase is due to my new “Meat Only On Saturday” Diet. Yep, I gave up bacon until brunch. That was the saddest break up ever. No pork, beef, chicken or any of the sort until Saturday. I let myself slide with fish twice a week but that’s it.

So here I am on the floor with a spoon, jar of peanut butter, and a book. Sounds like a fairly safe combination until your friend asks you why the book she borrowed from you has all these brown smudges on the odd pages. And it’s just the odd pages, mind you. I told her that, “Sh*tΒ  Peanut Butter happens, ya know”

I’m kinda snobby with my PB too. In all sorts of ways. Like, bruh, don’t give me no super crunchy ish. And I ‘m not a sucker for the “organic” label on er’thang but best believe ima be checking for it on my peanut butter so you can take that oily separated generic stuff back where you found it. And never ever buy that jelly/peanut butter mixed stuff. Like why? Who does that? Let’s cut right to the chase. I like my peanut butter like I like my whiskey, straight no chaser, lady so hold the jelly please. No, like really, I actually want you to hold it while I go get some local jam or preserves cause I dont understand this jelly business. I thought Jelly was the stuff Bey and neem used to sing about, “I dont think you ready for this jelly.” Hell naw, I aint ready and you shouldnt be either.

Welp, rant is done. Purge is over. Jar demolished. And smudges errrrr’where!

 

 

 

Uncategorized

New Journey: Data Science

Career transition? Bored? Need a challenge? All of those I answer YES to. I am coming out of the end of a quarter life crisis and feeling like an almost brand new woman. From a serious bout of inner turmoil arose the need for change. I had a revelation, of which I will share later, that totally changed my outlook on life.

Here I am headed into a new phase of my life just as my roaring 20s are ending: DATA SCIENCE. I want to be a Data Scientist. Why? And what exactly is a data scientist?

WHy? — I was trying so very hard to write a book that I got so head in I forgot to look up. I was forcing myself to view myself as a writer just because the cool blogger kids were doing it. Sure I loved to write and yes, I believe I am quite skilled at it but forcing something that doesnt fit or trying to force something before its time does no good to anyone. I am learning to take several chill pills instead. Wrought from my fanciful, dreamy writer life, I was snapped back into reality with the hard press need for money to keep my household afloat. Once again, like a college adviser, I was sitting down evaluating my talents, skills, passion and abilities again, typing up yet another resume when it dawned on me. I pigeonholed myself into this admin/clerical and writer/editor role. No one else did that but me It would then be completely up to me to change this. It would be completely up to me to change the course and direction of my life.

Hanging up my turtle neck and setting down my wire-rimmed writer’s glasses, I rediscovered my absolute love of math when I was bored in the midst of a writing session and decided that I wanted to have some fun by looking up complex calculus problems to solve. I found that I had a penchant for doing that these days. I do it at the grocery store, I like to calculate the mark up or the rate of change. Sometimes, I secretly plotted derivative graphs with the tiles on the ceiling. I would make up graphs in my head. Blah blah blah.

So where exactly did DATA SCIENTIST come up? While reading “The Power of Habit” by Charles DuHigg, I noticed that I really, really, really liked that book and it was because of the skillful use of data and research. I mean the stories were also rather cute but it was the compelling use of data that interested me. My wheels began to turn. The contents of the book had an even sharper effect on me which I think was due to the amount of data and statistics presented. I was hooked and only wondered how many more messages I could drive home by way of data, statistics and research. Thus, I chanced upon Data Science which is the retrieval, research, study, and analysis of data and statistics. And if you know anything about this 2017 world of ours, its that data is God.

This week, I have become fascinated with a Coursera course offered by Duke University on Data Science. I am revisiting my old friends calculus and statistics. I am rather excited and look forward to where this road may lead me.

 

 

Entertainment, Help Section, Uncategorized

Retiring the Internet: How I Plan to Swerve my Internet Addiction

Yep, I said it. And I mean it, somehow.

I am giving up my dependency on the internet. Maybe not permanently but def temporarily for right now.

Life feels too swirly as of late. Life in the fast lane is already fast enough without the addiction of the internet. Which is clearly just a rabbit hole waiting to suck our attention and deplete us of energy. I am convinced. Basically because I hate being too dependent on anything. Too much of anything is a bad thing, not to mention what happens when we abuse it.

I abuse technology, the main target being the internet. I just hop on it whenever I please, for however long I like, doing God knows whatever it is that I happen to like at the time. And oh boy, there are so many dungeons and dark holes to fall into on the internet. I was living in a new, big, beautiful city but was not exploring any of it because I would never leave the comfort of my laptop screen. Busying myself with the claim that I was looking up places to meet people or trying to find ways to connect with people, I rarely ventured outside. Thirst trap if there ever was one.

My Master Plan:

  1. Destroy the mf’n wifi. You read that right. I plan to disable it when I am not using it. If it weren’t for marriage, it would be in the right bottom kitchen drawer collecting dust. But I can’t torture the man like that.
  2. Plan my internet use. Do I have an absolute, definite purpose for using the internet today? No. Good, no need to log on. Yes, I do need to use the web today? For what? I plan to write down my needs for internet the night before logging on the next day. No plan, no internet. (Planning to look at cat memes or ratchet youtube videos is allowed, just not too much.)
  3. Use the Internet outside the home. For some reason, devouring countless hours of internet use at home is much easier to do in lieu of going to the library and having whatshisface from the bus stop stare at you over his computer monitor. Nothing like a nice noisy mouth breather to hurry your work along πŸ™‚ To that end, I will be forced to make monthly trips to the place I call my second home…the library.

 

Welp, here’s to the swerving. Hope you will continue to read my journey.

 

Entertainment, Help Section

Breaking Up with Self-Hate

I loathe. I hate. I despise. I regret. I resent…..Myself.

I used to think that hating myself was what kept me humble but the more I live, the more I realize how muddy this water has become. I’ve managed to poison myself from the inside out, letting hate fester.

Self-hate feels like the blackest cloud or the darkest storm. Just like some storms, I enjoy the sound of the pounding rain. Sometimes I relish the steady stream of fresh tears that drip from my chin. Sometimes I enjoy this deep pit of despair I am in. It has become home for me. A place of familiarity that I can always return to.

The downside is that the more I come home and the longer I stay, the harder it gets for me to leave. Like an addiction, I feel myself craving it. I begin creating situations unconsciously that bring me back to it, swearing that I would never come back again. Yet I find myself here over and over again. Self-hate has become my friend.

Today I want to break up with my friend. I never want to see home again. Because this home is no longer my home. This place does not hold my heart. And that friend is really a foe bringing nothing but ill and woe. Today I break up with the past, with old habits and familiar routine. Today was the last time I ever go home again.

 

Help Section

The Balm

Others all around me, passing by me, all seem to have it.
I ask to borrow it, most are willing to lend.
Just when I thought I have it, it slips through my fingers like water

No two days are the same.
I am never the same person

Tears won’t help;
Fighting does no good
It is always there like a sleeping giant.
Any little noise or trouble sets it off

Drained and annoyed
I resent the world for my being here
No purpose, no point.
This is pure misery. Why me?

But there is a balm.
Like the one in gilead.
It works like a charm